Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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