we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
