If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
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