this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize