i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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