I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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