So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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