Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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