I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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