I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
