i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
