fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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