Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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