sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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