it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
