I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
