Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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