Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize