I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize