My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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