$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
