you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
