oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize