Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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