is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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