I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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