I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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