Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
handjob tips. give me some.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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