i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
