Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
