Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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