she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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