Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
