I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
