she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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