sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
