I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
