YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
