You can't special order awesome
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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