She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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