I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
She said her name was "party"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
