ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
