yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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