FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
