Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
