is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
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I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
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I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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