I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
