wanna go halves on a baby?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Semen is not good for contacts.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
