but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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