I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
