Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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