just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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