so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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