There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
