remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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