I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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