Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
