I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
