we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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