Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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