I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize